Let me take you on a journey…
Meet me, Mrs Madhouse, Mum to 3 boys, Married to Mr Madhouse for 7 years, devoted comper, avid reader, oh and did I forget to say, we’re trying for baby number 4!!
Let me tell you what I will be talking about, but before we get there, we’re going to get rid of the elephant in the room…. I want you all to use your imagination here, there are 2 women in front of you…
Woman 1 – her clothes are crumpled, her hair badly needing sorted, her skin is pale and her eyes are red raw from crying.
Woman 2 – her clothes co-ordinate, her hair is up, she is smiling which meets her eyes.
Description 1 – She’s tired but holding down a job, her kids are (for the most part) model children, she barely sees her husband due to both working.
Description 2 – “some” education, drug user, several mental health issues, self harmer, suicide attempts, several recent incidents to break her heart.
After reading the above, what description fits which woman?
Hi! I’m woman 2 but I’m also description 2! I have a combination of Mental Health Issues, Borderline Personality Disorder, BiPolar, OCD, PTSD… but you know what? I’m stable!
Some Education? I didn’t fully elaborate, I’m well educated but in several different fields yet have no degrees…
Drug User – Yes, this was there to throw you, but with my multiple prescriptions, I AM a drug user!
Self Harmer – I suffer from a condition called dermatillomania, it’s not as known as it’s sister condition (trichtillomania – where sufferers pull their own hairs out) I pull my skin, it’s anxiety based and I hope in this journey that we see progress in beating it!
Suicide attempts – not recently, as a teenager it was all I did, BUT now, it runs through my mind, as it does with anyone who has mental health, but it doesn’t turn to actions..
Heart Breaking, as I write this, my sister has been dead 4 years, my Dad has been dead 4 months from tomorrow and I have so many more losses in recent years.
Despite all the above, I will NOT let Mental Health define who I am as a person, my relationship with my husband, kids and family are great, my relationship with the boys school is brilliant, I actually run the PTA!! I use the obsessive and addictive traits that come with Mental Health towards comping, where there is no spend but can be something to gain! It’s putting it to a healthy use as some find they go down the drug, alcohol, shopping or gambling route.
Now, my kids…. I have 3 boys and yes they are typical boys!! DK is 13 and currently staying with his Dad, unfortunately my first marriage broke down and without playing a blaming game, DK has listened to his Dad more, we are working on this though and it has been 9 months since I have seen him and I miss him more and more every day!
CC is 9 , he eats football, talks football, plays football and dreams football! The boys is mad on it, and when his brain moves to something else, it’s gaming!
TJ is 8 and the baby, he’s on the waiting list and has suspected Aspergers, he’s a challenging child but also very loveable, but my husband and I haven’t slept in the same bed together for a year now with his night time tendencies, I hope in this journey to finally get help for his anger and routines.
Mr Mad House – He’s my Bob! (A nickname for him that stuck) He has hydrocephalus spina bifida, but I am proud to say, that as with me and Mental Health, he won’t let it define him and coaches 2 football teams in his spare time!
So with all this madness, why baby number 4?
I love kids, always have, always will, last year I was put on the pill for 9 months to have a womb rest as had suffered 28 miscarriages, I came off the pill on New Years Day and now we hope for the womb rest to work!
My other passions? Netflix and Reading, I will add a section to review these as I spend a lot of spare time on these!